By the time I finally graduated college, the job market was an absolute mess. It took dozens of applications to even get as far as an interview, and months of effort only resulted in dead-end interview cycles. All that fruitless searching just for the chance to work somewhere was crushing.
Then, out of the blue, I got a call from one of the endless companies I'd applied to. They told me that while I didn't get the position I applied for, there was another position they thought I might be perfect for, and wanted to send an offer. I could barely contain my excitement. I accepted without a word, and happily agreed to come in the following Monday.
That morning I eagerly shook hands with the manager before sitting down. There was a cup of coffee on the table next to me, and I practically downed it. The taste was a bit off, but some bad coffee wasn't going to dampen my spirits. His words rang in my ear as my attention snapped back.
"...and in the mean time the day-to-day work will be more... secretarial."
"Secretarial?" I repeated curiously. "I thought the job was with pharmaceuticals, not admin."
"That's right Mr. Armistead, but as it's a long-term testing position you'll need something to do at the office while we observe you."
"Observe me?" I was starting to sound like a broken record. "What does that mea-"
Before another word left my lips, my whole body quivered and ached. I fell to my knees in agony, and when I looked up strands of long hair fell over my eyes. My chest felt swolen and tight against my shirt. The bones in my face and hips cracked. After an eternal moment of searing pain it was all done as soon as it started. I stood up to catch my breath, and I noticed the mirror. He spoke again.
"As you can see our pharmaceutical branch is doing alright for itself. What we needed was testers, so we could see the long-term effects of the drug," he smiled. "That's where you came in."
"What?" I sounded like my sister. "How...?"
"You just catch your breath, Ms. Armistead. When you've had a chance to recover we'll help you find some clothes that... fit better, and you can get acclimated to the work environment. We'll be working very closely for the next month or two. The pay is exactly as advertised, so you should have no concerns there. This is, of course, a tremendous opportunity."
The first week was nothing short of a blur of skirts, heels, makeup, and god knows what else. I can barely remember now. By the third week the day-to-day job wasn’t bad at all, though. Simple paperwork, getting coffee, and taking calls from time to time. The pay was indeed as good as I hoped, too, but the best part was the benefits.
I get more attention just walking around the office as a girl than I ever did as a guy, and let's just say getting laid isn't a problem either.