"Oh my god. Joe! What have you done?"
"I just had a little work done while you were away."
"A little!? That's not a little!"
"Oh, don't be ridiculous, Steve. It's just my tits and my lips. Oh, and I had my vagina tightened, too."
"You don't even fucking look like my stepmom anymore!"
"Well, your dad's certainly not complaining."
"Oh, Jesus. You haven't. . ."
". . . Well. . . "
"Oh my god. That's disgusting!"
"Well, what the fuck was I supposed to do? You are the one who got me stuck in your stepmom in the first place with that stupid trinket you brought home from acheolology class. And you're also the one who promised to get me out of her! Where have you been all semester? You were supposed to call or figure out a way out of this. I haven't heard a peep from you!"
"Oh my god, you slept with my dad! I can't believe you!"
"Now listen here, SON. It's not like I didn't try to avoid him. But your dad is fucking relentless. Do you know what it's like to brush your teeth every night and have your dad walk up and settle his crotch into your ass and wrap his hands around your tits? Do you? No! You don't. If you had nipples as sensative as these you'd fucking understand, not to mention all the estrogen coursing through me. Eventually I couldn't fake a headache anymore, and to be honest, my curiosity got the better of me. The way he kissed my neck made me so soaking wet I finally dropped my house coat and bent over the sink. And it was worth it. So sue me! While you've been having fun at college, I've been having my own classes here: How to Please Your Father 101! You don't think these lips had anything to do with how happily he answered the door today? They've been busy earning A's at home while you've been slacking off from your promises!"
"Oh god. Fine. I'm sorry, I'm going to the library right now. I'll find a way to get you out of there."
"Uh. Steve. Wait."
"Wait what?! I have to hurry before you change anything else. "
"No. You don't. You aren't going anywhere."
"What?"
"I cooked dinner. It's almost time to eat.. . . plus, I don't really want to leave anymore."
"WHAT!?"
"Please, Steve. I mean, do you think I would have had all this work done if I didn't want to stay? I mean, your dad has turned out to be pretty convincing in the bedroom, if you know what I mean. We're pretty happy. I kinda like being his fuck toy."
"My stepmom is 10 years older than you!"
"If you only knew what a pussy could do, you would happily see those years vanish."
"I can't believe what I'm hearing."
"Believe it. And besides, you hated your stepmom. Think how much fun the summer family trip will be this year. I'm still your best friend."
"Joe. . ."
"I'm not Joe anymore, honey. I'm your stepmom. Or you can call me Kristy. It's up to you. Either way, I need to check on the oven."
". . . "
"Well. Are you coming for dinner? I cooked you your favorite. Chicken a la King."
"Sigh. Yes, mom. "
"Good boy."
"And your nails, too?"
"Oh! Thank you! Don't you love them? I had them done this morning, along with my eyebrows and a brazilian wax. Hey! I have a great idea! We should take you for a pedicure during break - they're fucking heaven!"